28 years...

So today was my 28th birthday - no biggie.... i seem to lack that sense of fear that i am getting older at this point in my life... i had a pretty good day... lots of hugs and kisses from p, lots of birthday wishes, watched the kids in the pool, and even went to ribfest to watch g & p ride the rides... and got to ride one with g (that girl is wanting to be more and more independent each day!) i do however feel a little bummed... i wrongly expected to hear a mutter of "happy birthday" or "i am happy to celebrate" from a couple people in my life... is this what happens as birthdays continue and you have children of your own? i know i have forgotten many things in my life... and i guess i know how it feels.... so they are forgiven and i still love them... just sometimes hurts...
i also have some feelings about someone to remain nameless.... (starts with BIG and joins with P)... not thinking ahead for the now 10th year we have been together on my birthday and attempting to do something nice... it's bothersome to me... when his birthday comes i get excited and try to be creative and do something sweet and personal... i love being able to share his day... just kind of sucks the fun out of it anymore when my birthdays have gone wrong so many times with him... i love him and he knows it, but to me for some reason birthdays are so much more...
i am not sad about the getting old part and becoming 1 year closer to the end... but i am disappointed in the slow disappearance of the celebration of life.... a person is born and all celebrate... the years go by and typically are celebrated for surviving another year and achieving goals from past... now it seems more like a forced party... argh....
i'll stop here... and look at this in a better light: Yay for WONDERFUL friends that are there for me ALL year long and show me daily they are happy i am alive and thriving!  Yay for a STRONG family connection to depend on and love me no matter what! Yay for lil P who can brighten my day and fills my heart with love when it sometimes seems to start draining! Yay for shelter, clothes, food, and money along with some sweet surprises in life! Yay for surviving another year and looking forward to many more! Yay for the possibility of a better birthday with him and those that may have forgotten next year!